pucha's guide to happines

i should be smiling my gums out until they dry. it would be hard to close my mouth when that happens. i mean, pare, what would it take to make a pucha happy? huh? let me count the ways.

a pucha can be happy when he can:
1) should be able to curse anytime, anywhere on the top of his lungs. remember, a pucha is a smoker. nay. a marlboro red smoker. take your lungs out. place on some cushy surface. step on top of it. now swear like you had no lungs. remember. you are on top of it.

2) should be able to check out them mares (female horses. the pucha is a male horse. and should be big like a horse. loves red horse. red bull. and anything in between).

3) drink like there's no tomorrow. a pucha is essentially an essentialist. a pucha loves essence. like the essence of chicken. the essence of perfume. the essence of alcohol no matter what form. anything that has essence. like whispering to a horse. whispering until he is hoarse. a pucha is always haorse, since he loves to shout on top of his lungs. there is no tomorrow. there is only the essence of tomorrow. thus, a pucha, when he drinks, doesn't think of tomorrow. only the essence of tomorrow. thus, he gets drunk in the essence of tomorrow, today.

4) a pucha should shit his spirit free. breathing in the essence of the four winds. it spirals down the innards of a pucha. the spirit cannot go out of the horse like vegetable-oirgan of a pucha. only life essence is allowed to flowe out of there. yeah. like water. like water for chocolate. like chocolate to suppress primal urges. or just maybe climb up a tree and wail like a cat in heat. kasi nga mataas ang araw. kahit ikaw magrereklamo. back to the spirit. the spirit should be shit free. kung hindi, your burp will smell like shit.

five. six. seven. eight. nine.

capische! (feeling french ako ngayon. like, would you like to french kiss my armpits?)

nuninu

can't sleep. haven't posted for a while. like 3 hours ago. before that. days. weeks even. months? years? too tamad (the disease that killed the rolling stones, ie, sakit sa bato) to switch back and see my earlier than latest entry.

what to do. what to do. it's boring here. maybe it's time to go blog hopping and make okray (badedesh term for that slick, snotty (like sipon pare) organ... err.. vegetable... alright, your organ maybe a vegetable. you need the blue pill, kiddo) now i lost count of the parens i made... anyhoo...

yeah. maybe make it a weekly thing. that way, i can attract more readers. you want trash, i'll give you an ashtray. yeah.

kapisot (small kapish), pare.

jungle bells

pare! wasap? wut?!? can't hear ya. sorry.

i heard someone say that christmas is just aroungd the corner. i went to the corner. nope. no christmas there. i went to the other corner, no christmas there too. so wtf?!? wut?!?

i notice christmas trees on many corners tho. funny thing is, those are not real trees. thanks be to gawd, the pader, and the mader. no wonder our forrest are nude and therefore no more forrest. see? a nude forrest is not a forrest. a nude tourist is not a tourist. the tourist will be jailed. the tourist will become a prisoner. because the tourist thought it was free. it is a tourist because it is a neuter. and neuters don;t engage in sex. why is the tourist jailed when it is a neuter. because the neuter grew balls to get naked. see the logic? wut?!?

back to christmas trees. they are not real trees. thus, christmas is not real. it's just an appointed day where we fool kids that there's a santa. and santa is a pedophile because there are no elves. or dwarves. just kids. see? wut?!?

and reindeers that fly? no way. hmmm. if santa comes from the north pole and he brings presents to chimneys all over the world, that means he's not flying. he's falling. like from north to south falling. he just has good timing. and timing gives santa many many kids. and kids make toys. and toys make kids happy. what a tautology. wut?!?

have you seen a reindeer fall? or fall with a reindeer? no. i live in the philippines. no way there's no fall here. well, we fell for gloria. what can i say? wut?!? yeah. i said 'wut?!?'

kapish. time for kopee.